WHY WHISKY IS THE MAN'S DRINK

first of all i only expect actual drinkers to understnd wt im trying to say here..so if ur one of those party-farty tequila shooting faggots dont evn bother reading this..wow that felt good..
ok..so i think that whisky (n water, not coke, homos!)is the ultimate and the one n only man's drink..a true drinking man's drink..this is true because it is true..theres no other explaination to it..only whiskey can make u feel like it does..just so manly n ready to fight all 5 rockys and terminator ..this is not to gloss over how it tastes..is there a better treat for the taste buds than that first sip of whiskey n ice+water (or soda, i guess)? true deee-light right there..
as for other drinks..anything thats drunk wt pineapple or orange juice or sprite or tonic cannot evn be considered as serious alcohol... so u'll tell me siberian hunters drink vodka..but they wear FUR man..any guy who wears fur cant possibly be taken seriously..besides russians speak funny..as for rum..rum goes wt coke..n tastes like nothing..so rum is like a lowly cousin of whisky at best..tho i hav to say its far better than vodka or gin simply bcoz its not transparent in colour atleast..drinking is a dark activity people..its not a party game..though it helps all the time..but thats besides the point..i was recently in cochin at my cuzzins place n theyre all heavy brandy drinkers..wen i say heavy i mean they drink gallons in one sitting..and i like the way it tastes too..brandys pretty cool i guess..but id hav to put it at a far away second place to whisky bcoz cmon its called BRAndy..wt kinda man-drink is called BRA-ndy??
id have to omit of course all kindsof expensive thingys like scotch n cognac n the rest mainly coz awesome as they r, theyre burgeoise drinks.theyre rich man drinks..n alcohol has no class constraints...ive alwyz had most fun drinking in the most cheeri of vine shops in chennai..thats the real drinking experience for u..people passing out on tables..puke on the floor..somebodybreaking bottles somewhere..tamil koothu songs wch i dont really get blaring from cheap speakers..evryone-NRI college students and auto drivers and hen-pecked husbands and 'mamas' alike-all under one roof celebrating the magic that is alcoholism..we've all had a hard day or a hard life n evrybdy just wants to vent..to pass out n die..no need to evn mention that all the heavy drinkers here -the men who do actual men's work, rickshaw pullers n labourers n petty criminals-all down whiskeys and whiskeys only..wt an egg (half-boiled, they call it, how i miss that life) or some beef fry or pickle or wtvr..thanni n 'touchings'..!! those were the days..