WAIT AND BLEED.

im lonely
im listening to man who sold the world-david bowie
im ugly
im insecure
i dont feel loved
i dont want to feel loved
im possibly impotent
im hideous
im lonely
im pissed drunk
im pissed drunk n its onlyt ten in the morn n that scares me
i should b at work rt now
i have no future, no possibilities
i miss hope
i miss havng friends
i miss laughing, and drinking
i dont like my highs anymore
im alwyz on a bad trip
i have a mallu accent
i have black lips
i cant stop smoking n its killing me
i wish there were a faster way to die than lung cancer
im scared ill let people down
i let myself down so long ago living wt myself is like a broken marriage
i abuse myself physically, menatlly, emotionally and it makes me feel good about myself
i havnet felt good about myself since tenth grade
people make me feel shitty
i know nobody really gives a fuck about me but thats ok
i wouldnt like myself much either if i were u
i crack jokes coz it makes me feel less inadequate
i think my parents let me down
im ashamed of evrythng i have and am
im not cool
i wish i were athletic
i wish i had a better body and better hair and better face
i wish i were rich
i think money brings happiness
i want to quit smoking
i wish i were prayerful
i dont belive in anything
i think sachin tendulkar throws games
i think theres life in outer space
i think the soul is a myth.i think we die and thats it
i wish i had enuff balls to kill myself
i wish i were somewre where nobdy knows men i dont hav to b me
i wish i was somebody else
im probably a lil sadistic to my girlfriend
im not sure i can be faithful to anyone or anybdy for very long and that scares me
im probably a lil sadistic to anybody at all that loves me
im a throwback to my dad, n its becoming more obvious evyrday that im more like him but ill nevr be half as successful as him and it pisses me off that im such a fuck-up
ive become a garbage bin for evrything society discards-im the bum, the wasted poet, the exploited community, the banyan tree in kesavadasapuram junction they cut down coz it was too old and took up too much space
i feel 60 years old and i look 13
i wish i had facial hair
im a victim of over-rating parents and teachers
im more guilty than i let on
im probably more guilty than anything alse
im really sick of life
i hate that you can read my innermost fears here
i hate that i want you to read them here
i hate that im putting my thoughts down on the fucking internet
im just gonna go now

WHAT DOES YOUR BIRTH DATE MEAN?

Your Birthdate: August 7

You are an island. You don't need anyone else to make you happy. And though you see yourself as a loner, people are drawn to you. Deep and sensitive, you tend to impress others with your insights. You also tend to be psychic - so listen to that inner voice! Your strength: Your self sufficiency Your weakness: You despise authority Your power color: Maroon Your power symbol: Hammer Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

ANOTHER LOVE-QUIZ FOR FUCKS SAKE

ok ive been 'tagged' (??!!) and im supp to fill this out or apparently the net police will come take away my blogging license...this is the tag..

Write 8 points about my perfect lover so here are the eight points:

Rules of the game are …
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.

So, here goes….

Sex of the target - a big strapping he-man with biceps n triceps n abs N HE SHOULD BE HUNG LIKE A HORSE TOO

1. we should be able to decide on differences of opinion physically...fight anything out--beat each other in, kick teeth, blood, bloody gore, survival of the fittest and no court action later

2. i want 24 hour attention, i want faithfulness and unconditional loyalty, i want reassurance and warmth and comfort-im not comfortable wt new acquaintances n new friends i like old things n i expect u to know i wouldnt like changes..i would expect u to know how i would feel

3. wen i dont wanna talk i just dont wanna talk, but its ok for u to worry

4. my rules and my morals are our morals, theyre the right morals

5. wen i think ur bahaving like an asshole i want to be able to tell u as much without referrences to it later

6. i realize a lot of this is about me and not about whoever im supposed to be seeing, but i want my relationship to revolve around me-anybody that sez they dont feel that way is fucking lying anyway

7. i dont want ur friends and family telling u wt we should do, i dont want them evn suggesting to me wt we shld do

8. i want u n me to b a small little island of our own, a place where we love n fight n play around but its our island n i dont like anybody else swimming remotely near it even

THE TIME OF OUR LIVES

ok i know im not supposed to like greenday..i know theyre not the punk-iest band alive..but then agen who exactly is punk? look arnd n name one truly punk band tts also attained some kind of mainstream recognition today..not the the mainstream means shit to punk but wt i mean is after the sex pistols, who? not evn ramones managed to attain that kind of notoreity or fame..im not talking abt commercial success..if anything rock n roll dictates tht ur probably more prone to derteriorate n die in a haze of drugs and degenration the more rock n roll u r..then agen im hardly of the opinion tt being rock n roll shld mean the death of u..im just saying i like greenday..im sorry i cnt help it theyre pretty cool..i really liked the new album ..tho i started listng to it just recently...maybe if they went a lil easier on the eyeliner they cld win some more credibility..not tt theres anythng wrong wt dressing up..just that its a bit of drastic change at 30-somethng for blue eyed pin up blonde boy of pop punk..neverthless i think we've seen the end of true punk..to be honest we've probably seen the end of rock music..bands like greenday and offspring may be the last flicker of a dying flame..i doubt therell be another led zap or sabbath or even metallica..audioslave, foo fighters, system of a down are all purveyors of a last minute revolution..nevr mind that theyll nevr achieve wt their heroes did but theyre the last ones tht will come close..and they deserve our respect for it..n attention..coldplay at the end of the day is cold listening, irrespective of how many times they go platinum..u2 is running on its last legs-vertigo was partuicularly bad..staind or the killers will nevr command the kind of maniacal following that the who or floyd could command..these bands cn nevr inspire a lifestyle of dream..wt they cn do is make u jump around a few times wen ur drunk n leave a 2 minute smile on ur fire..the fire in ur belly, that adrenaline rush u feel in the presence of true musical greatness will nevr visit u agen..so before american idol clones wipe out wts left..i say give the temporary messiahs a chance..