RANDOM REALIZATIONS

todays been a day of realizations. not a learning experience kinda one because i'll never learn. but random realizations, yes. things i know now and will forget tomorow and learn agen some other drunken march evening. but first things first.

today i realized that my only real friends are named baliga and crap and those are not even their real names and theyre not even real people.

today i realized at my IELTS exam that you dont need six months of TIME classes or a tutored british accent to ace an english exam.

today i realized that evrybody yearns to be free. that evrybodys pissed off by authority. im pissed off by the omnipotent, the omniscient. my drinking buddy is pissed off by cops and morality. my moms pissed off that her son isnt all that the fortune teller promised he would be. eddie vedders pissed off that he can make awesome music for a zillion years but he'll nevr put the media in the kind of daze that kurt cobain put them in bcoz the mortality of death, the impulsiveness of suicide will alwyz be more beautiful than the immortality of genius. my dads pissed off that all he wanted my mom to be isnt all he needed because shes done it all n hes not happy, hes still wanting, wheres my dream woman? my sisters pissed that all her first ranks and hard work will not translate themselves into a bludgeoning career if she keeps having babies like she does. i realized that vre all pissed off at something or the other, that we'll find somethng else that pisses us off when what we have is obliviated bcoz some things nevr change.

today i realized that for all the pride i take in my manhood, all the meaningless hue and cry feminists raise over the need for equality, we will alwys be a culture dictated by the mighy vagina because the baddest evillest cruellest motherfucker in the world will think twice before bringing a tear to his mothers eyes; that men will alwyz be less equal becoz we're simply not capable of emotional blackmail, and even if we were women would nevr fall for it like we do.

today i realized that im in love with the most beautiful person in the world, that i have a responsiblity to nevr scar her, a responsibility that scares the shit out of me, something that i know im not capable of.

today i realized that its ok to be broke if in ur mind u live like a king, that being the elevnth indian to get on the forbes list of billionaires will not make up for time lost or hurtful things said. that there r somet hings money cant buy, but the things it can buy r awesome too.

a second ago i realized that i only realize meaningful things when im drunk or stoned or both and that cant be a good thing but who gives a shit anywy.

a little earlier i realized that i suck in so many ways, in most ways in fact, but ill alwyz be special and cool and loved and taken care of by people who love me becoz most times, most times, thats all that matters-love.