HMMMMMM..............

so ive found my calling..my calling is to be a failure..dont laugh it away just yet..its quite a compelling profession once u read thru the job description..but before u do.. whats the alternative to being mainstream? being 'different right'? if ur not a commercial success, ur 'experimenting'..if ur not a doctor or an mba or an engineer, ur 'unique', u become a movie-maker or writer of chef..what abt people who r no good at these things then? think hard..what is the most hard-to-come-by specimen of people in post-privatised-education india? failures, man, failures. look around u evryones a glittering success story, stuff forbes and business-world r made of..whatevr happ to good old failures? that pre-historic anciest non-existent species of burnt out men n women, underachievers, losers..u hardly see them around anymore..wch is why, which is exactly why ive decided, hell ima preserve the multi-achievemental diversity of it all by being a pioneering failure..a father figure for all no-gooders to follow..a model disaster for future alcoholics, druggies and dyslexics to emulate..the father-failure..

its an awesome idea..theres nothing i do better..evrythng i touch turns to shit..when ive given in an exemplary answerpaper, the teachers empties her septic tank on me..when i do something thoughtful my girlfriend has second thoughts abt us, when i clean up my room my mom wants to know wht grade narcotic i ahve hidden away..so why not amke a career of it..? its risk free coz the chances of failure only make my goals more attainable..n u hav to admit im damn good at it..

from today, my time will be spent un-constructively..my waking hours in the bar, my sleeping hours in the lavatory, the in-between in contemplation of what further misery i can pile on myself..when my shoulders r too tired from carrying the world around ill smoke a joint and pick it up n over my head..when my arms look healthy agen ill puncture them wt my ciggie..when my soul is sobbing ill poke fun n call it a cry-baby...

on a less cheerful note, i hate myself but ive come to terms with it..its a setback for my newly acquired vocation but im sure i can bring me down to normalcy in a couple of hours.,.i heard neighbours r visting n queries abt wht im doin n wht i plan to do wt the next ten years ought to filter out any closure the last eight hours of drinking have managed to bring about..

till then..rust in peace n think of agony...hells waiting..